Here's the descriptor paragraph on the back of the book Sparkle brought home from school:
"Football isn't just Tommy's favorite sport, it's the key to a good home. Recently orphaned Tommy is delighted to discover that his foster father, Mr. Powell, coaches Midget League football. By playing well Tommy thinks he will make Mr. Powell want to adopt him, and then he will have a real family again. This easy-to-read story of a boy's struggle for acceptance on and off the field is packed with enough warmth and sports action to appeal to all young readers."
Yeah, I don't think we're going to read this one to Sparkle.
I read it, though, just because... Well, I don't know why, but I did.
Tommy isn't a very good sportsman, though he's good at football. He's too rough with his tackles, sometimes on purpose, though the book doesn't connect this behavior to Tommy's loss. He's just mean sometimes, and his coach has to teach him to control himself.
Here are the last few paragraphs of the book:
"Mr. Powell smiled and ruffled Tommy's hair. He looked at Mrs. Powell, Mr. Powell, and then at Betty. He was so choked he couldn't speak.
Everybody's face had the broadest, happiest smile Tommy had ever seen. It was as if all the lights in the whole world were shining on their faces...
Tommy shook his head. A proud grin spread across his face.
'It's sure nice to have a mom and dad again!' he said happily."
And... curtain!
Now, this was published in the 60s and I get that it's full of old ideas about adoption. But! This was read aloud to some of the kids in Sparkle's class. It's a "chapter book" and probably took them about five days or so to read at school. And! Is the school completely unable to afford any books more current than the 1960s for kindergartners? For kids who are just learning to choose books for themselves?
I'm absolutely willing to cut this teacher a lot of slack because Sparkle is doing awesome in her class, he loves school, his reading is improving daily, and I can tell that she really likes Sparkle. If you know the teacher likes your kid and wants the best for him that goes a looong way, right?
But still, I think we're going to have a gentle chat. And we'll head over to the bookstore to find some better books to donate to the classroom.
Hmmm ... good idea on the chat and donating books.
Posted by: wendy | Saturday, November 21, 2009 at 09:35 AM
OY.VEY.
Posted by: Corey | Saturday, November 21, 2009 at 09:41 AM
You know, I hate to say it, but someone probably looked at that and thought, "Aw, a nice positive adoption story." Sigh.
I just donated the whole "Akimbo" series by Alexander McCall Smith to my son's school library. They do have a decent collection, but it's pretty short on books featuring non-white characters, unless they are non-fiction.
Posted by: tafel | Saturday, November 21, 2009 at 10:25 AM
choke...chalk this one up to what I call "ignorance" in that people just don't get it.
The most offensive thing that has happened to me lately with Abe is that a mom practically tackled me during pre-school drop-off and demanded to know why Abe wasn't going to catechism (I live in Italy and). I explained I'm not a practicing catholic and neither is my husband (and it's none of your f--ing business anyway), and we were happy to have Abe learn about religion during religion class (Catholic because g-d forbid they should teach OTHER religions during religion class).
Not happy, she cornered me again saying they (the catechists) had come up with a wonderful idea for the xmas catechism play about an African village that finds a book ... oh it's the Bible and so forth. Nice I said. Well as a "gift" to the children in the play, they are donating "a child adopted at distance" and thought it would be just WONDERFUL if Abe COULD GIVE OUT THE GIFT! Nice...just nice....I obviously said NO...told her we have another commitment that day, Abe has his annual Xmas party with our adoption agency and it's more important for him to associate with other adopted children who are also black or brown. She no longer says hello to me....no loss, no grief...just frustration that people JUST DON'T GET IT.
Posted by: Anna | Monday, November 23, 2009 at 05:29 AM
Yea, I'm thinking the same thing as Tafel. Maybe the teacher was happy she had an "adoption book" for the adoptee in her class. I think we really have to be responsible for helping the people in our children's lives to know how WE frame adoption in our families. Obviously we know that not all adoption stuff is of the same caliber, but people on the outside probably don't.
Posted by: Kohana | Wednesday, November 25, 2009 at 01:37 AM
The way they handled things in the 60s .... well, I'm glad we've made progress. I found this short video that tells a beautiful story featuring a woman who grew up in the 60s and late 70s as an adopted daughter. her parents didn't handle it well, but there truly is a happy ending. Check it out if you'd like: http://www.sharewik.com/videos/1751104
Posted by: Allie | Friday, December 03, 2010 at 10:30 AM