Mayhem and Magic

"Touchdown for Tommy"

Here's the descriptor paragraph on the back of the book Sparkle brought home from school:

"Football isn't just Tommy's favorite sport, it's the key to a good home.  Recently orphaned Tommy is delighted to discover that his foster father, Mr. Powell, coaches Midget League football.  By playing well Tommy thinks he will make Mr. Powell want to adopt him, and then he will have a real family again.  This easy-to-read story of a boy's struggle for acceptance on and off the field is packed with enough warmth and sports action to appeal to all young readers."

Yeah, I don't think we're going to read this one to Sparkle.

I read it, though, just because...  Well, I don't know why, but I did.

Tommy isn't a very good sportsman, though he's good at football.  He's too rough with his tackles, sometimes on purpose, though the book doesn't connect this behavior to Tommy's loss.  He's just mean sometimes, and his coach has to teach him to control himself.

Here are the last few paragraphs of the book:

"Mr. Powell smiled and ruffled Tommy's hair.  He looked at Mrs. Powell, Mr. Powell, and then at Betty.  He was so choked he couldn't speak.

Everybody's face had the broadest, happiest smile Tommy had ever seen.  It was as if all the lights in the whole world were shining on their faces...

Tommy shook his head.  A proud grin spread across his face.

'It's sure nice to have a mom and dad again!' he said happily."

And...  curtain!

Now, this was published in the 60s and I get that it's full of old ideas about adoption.  But!  This was read aloud to some of the kids in Sparkle's class.  It's a "chapter book" and probably took them about five days or so to read at school.  And!  Is the school completely unable to afford any books more current than the 1960s for kindergartners?  For kids who are just learning to choose books for themselves?

I'm absolutely willing to cut this teacher a lot  of slack because Sparkle is doing awesome in her class, he loves school, his reading is improving daily, and I can tell that she really likes Sparkle.  If you know the teacher likes your kid and wants the best for him that goes a looong way, right? 

But still, I think we're going to have a gentle chat.  And we'll head over to the bookstore to find some better books to donate to the classroom.

Plane Tickets

We got an email from a lady asking for help raising money for her daughter's family.  It's not that we were targeted specifically in this email, she pretty much sent it to everyone in her email address book.  But it annoyed me, so I must share it with you.

According to the grandma, they are a busy family with two kids ("of their own') who just had two children placed with them for adoption.  They are currently foster parenting, the kids have only been living in the home for a few weeks, but it's an adoptive placement so the supposed intention is permanent placement.  The rest of the family is flying to visit relatives over Christmas.  To add the two new children would cost $900 per plane ticket.  So they are looking for help to buy the plane tickets, otherwise they will have to leave the children in a group home over Christmas.

Hello?  These are YOUR children now.  Leaving them behind in a group home is not an option.  If you can't afford to buy them plane tickets, then either 1) no one goes, you get refunds on the plane tickets, and have a lovely Christmas at home with just the six of you, or 2) one parent gets a refund on a plane ticket and stays home with two of the children while sending the rest of the family off to visit relatives.

I'm trying to remind myself that I don't know the whole story, maybe it's not that simple, but I gotta say I'm judging just a little wee bit.

Close Call

Yesterday at almost noon Beloved sent me a text to tell me his plane had just arrived.  Hooray!

Here's my response: "Good!  Are you going to work or going home?  I'm planning on going home in a few minutes to let the dog out.  And I forgot my lunch in the rush this morning."

And then I sent it to...  My mother!

My phone just go updated and the screen for texting looks different now.  Apparently I am easily confused.  Thirty seconds later I got a text from my mom saying basically, "Wha-huh?"

Thank goodness I didn't say anything more wink, wink, nudge, nudge-y, 'cause that's kinda what I meant but can you imagine if I had accidentally sent THAT to my mother!  I'm telling you, cyber-flirting is not for me!

Okay Then

1.  A short but carefully crafted message was sent to foster mom via facebook.  She friended me!  Hooray!  She sent a little note back saying that Sparkle is as cute as ever and she would send him an email later that day.  She didn't, but that's okay.  Well, obviously I'd love it if she did, but I'll take what I can get at this point.  She has not completely disappeared from the planet, so that's awesome!  It looks like she mostly plays facebook games with her account, not much personal information there.

2.  Yet another potluck lunch is happening at work next week.  Those who have not signed up got an email today.  Apparently I need to commit to a particular dish ahead of time, which...  argh!  Maybe I can just get some chicken from the deli across the street. 

What do you bring to potlucks?  This has to be a lunch entree or salad, and I have to be able to put it in the fridge at work in the morning.  Microwave is the only reheating option.  Actually a few people have brought things in crockpots in the past, so that might work. 

3.  Pumpkin has a new sister.  She's almost six months old now.  I meant to blog about it, because having siblings in another family is a big deal for adopted kids.  You might recall that the birth of Pumpkin's first sister threw me for a loop a few years ago.  This time...  much less loop. 

It still feels like a big deal though.  I'd like to talk about it more, but it seems a little overwhelming.  I want to be sensitive to privacy issues and adoption triad communication issues...  It's a big subject and I want to say what I'm thinking about it clearly.  But, dude, she's almost six months old.  I'm apparently not going to find the time to write anything that I have to think about too much.  It feels a little like I'm hiding something, though, if I don't talk about this part of open adoption.  So I'm just mention it here, all casually and in passing-- there, did you see it?