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Oh my goodness the boys look like they have aged years since I was last here! (that'll show me to stay away too long)

I need to take time and post from the recent transracial adoption conference I attended. I love it.

You hit it on the head, you chose him, and his brother. what a wonderful family and you do an excellent job of being a wonderful example of love and great parenting. Thank you,


When I read your post I thought he is asking why black and not white (not why adopted vs why not bio).

Why did you adopt a black child? Why didn't you adopt a white child? To me it looks like he specifically asking about race, not about why you wanted to be a mother, not about why/how you came to adopt, not about bio vs adopted but specifically why black and not white.

My brother (who is black and was adopted and is well into adulthood) asked me when I was adopting why I was adopting black children and not white.



They do throw us for a loop with these questions, don't they? It's sometimes hard to sift through to find what they're actually after. And even when we do, sometimes the answers are so complicated and nuanced...yes, it's a challenge!


It's nice that they ask. And it's great that you share with them openly.
And my my my, they are getting more handsome with each passing day!!!
I use this phrase with my kids (because for us it is true): "God sent us to you and God sent you to us." In other words that we share, we chose each path carefully, but God knew who we were going to be with all along.
(sorry if that sounded too religious, I'm more spiritual than anything else).


aww.. I don't know why I cried when I read this post.. maybe it was the sweet, tender explanations that you offered. We are in the process of adopting a biracial baby girl.. and I know one day I will have questions to answer..thanks for touching my heart as I am sure you touched Sparkle's. :)( Beautiful children by the way)


I think that at some point you should say exactly that to him: "We believe that people can choose to be family to one another. We believe that making the decision to love someone is always a good choice. We believe that people have value because they're people; not because they are like us, they share our genes, they share our lifestyle, they share our beliefs, or they share our culture." The decision to make a family is a powerful one; the belief that family and love and community and care transcend biology, race, culture, faith, and nation is a more powerful one.

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