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Mindy

This sums up a lot of how I've felt, too...I can't believe I haven't gotten the girls into dance or gymnastics, I can't believe we spend so much time in the house, I can't believe we don't have more days away from the house as a family,...lots and lots of things. So, yep, I'm in a pause and reassess phase, too.

--Min

Angela

Hummm...this one hits home for me because I'm having an existatialist crisis of sorts (mostly in my head...but it's HAPPENING!LOL)

I had these ideas of how things would be too and although I'm not unhappy or depressed that they didn't happen I look around me sometimes and wonder:

1. ummm...shouldn't I have several kids running around (I wanted a large family and it looks like we'll only have one)
2. ummm....shouldn't I be at a certain point professionally speaking (and here I am trying to decide what "else" to do...torn between two options)
3. ummm...shouldn't my kid have mastered her ballet lessonw by now (she is the oldest in her class...sigh)
4. ummm...shouldn't I be more "centered" and less anxiety ridden...umm...NO!LOL
5. ummm...shouldn't I have come to terms w/ my religous/spiritual choices (or lack thereof) but no...still feeled w/ angst and doubt.


So yeah..I get get it. I'm in the process of letting some (ok..many) things go and trying to change/acquire the ones that really do matter to me. But there are some (like the bigger family one) that although it doesn't look like it will happen (at least I don't "think" it will...I wonder if I'll always feel like I'll miss it. Like in a parallel world I'd be that mom w/ the bunch of kids trailing her...oh well...gotta work on my "reality!"

Angela

darn...I really need to start previewing my posts...that last paragraph is confusing...then again..that is the state of my mind latelyLOL

haze

Ah yes, the best laid plans.....

I don't have kids yet, but I can relate to what your wrote. I look at my life and wonder, what happened to the life I was PLANNING on having - the one where I'm married with 6 kids? Sometimes I think about that and feel sorry for myself because I think I've lost something - but in the meantime I AM living MY LIFE - RIGHT NOW! And the more I whinge about what I think I was SUPPOSED to do with it, the more I waste and lose sight of the GREAT LIFE I DO HAVE! And the wonderful things I have to look forward to with this beautiful child who will be coming into my life.

I'm glad you are not upset, and only surprised by how things have turned out so far. Because in the end, the # of days vacation, the lack of a sandbox - none of it's important. Your boys love you, you have a loving husband, you are blessed.

Thank you for writing about this - I enjoyed thinking about it and commenting. I always love your honesty and candor.

Leah

You are never too old for a sand box and every boy needs a dog. I love that you don't run anymore b/c I thought I was the only one :)

cloudscome

You just need to get a really big sandbox. :) Kids love to dig forever. Pets are better when they are 5+ too, IMO.

I find myself continually amazed that we got here so fast. They are not babies any more? When did that happen?

Heidi-happy mom

time flys when your having fun, right?

I have been talking about swimlessons for my kids since Sam was around 6 months and I was positivily going to sign us up for the mom and me. He has never had any swim lessons.

and pets, we are a hopeful pet-less family, but I know my kids would love one, but they are so much work.

we take vacations but we count family visits as vacations because well we can't do everything.

It is crazy how it all flys and you wonder where it all went and what happened to the time.

Just make sure you are happy with what is happening and that you are having great family time. that is what matters.

Heather

Oh man, do I ever get it. I have these same thoughts. For some reason-- the turning *5* thing seems really huge. K & O are turning 4 in March, but already Braydon and I lie in bed awake saying, 'Oh my God, they are turning 5 next year!!!?!?!'... many of the same things you wrote about in your post go through our minds. We just stare at them playing and tear up thinking about it all. Like you said-- it isn't depression. It is just thoughts swirling with no sense of how to dot all the i's and cross all the t's. We try to cram as much as we possibly can into our life-- but then we worry we're trying to cram too much in. We slow down-- but then we worry we're missing out on once-in-a-lifetime opportunities. It is crazy-making. Just wanted you to know that we get it.
HBJ

Heather

Oh man, do I ever get it. I have these same thoughts. For some reason-- the turning *5* thing seems really huge. K & O are turning 4 in March, but already Braydon and I lie in bed awake saying, 'Oh my God, they are turning 5 next year!!!?!?!'... many of the same things you wrote about in your post go through our minds. We just stare at them playing and tear up thinking about it all. Like you said-- it isn't depression. It is just thoughts swirling with no sense of how to dot all the i's and cross all the t's. We try to cram as much as we possibly can into our life-- but then we worry we're trying to cram too much in. We slow down-- but then we worry we're missing out on once-in-a-lifetime opportunities. It is crazy-making. Just wanted you to know that we get it.
HBJ

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