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Krissy Poopyhands

It really is just totally and completely incomprehensible. You are right up there at the top of my brain list of good moms, but I don't have the first clue how you'd handle that.

You're a goddess for doing what you do. Not because it's your calling, but because you've stepped in and loved these boys and let them love you back and have tried to make as much sense of it all as possible. And tried to find peace with the stuff that just doesn't make sense.

I have a boatload of admiration for you that's just growing over time. And your kids are pretty cool, too.

Also you have excllent decorational taste.


I like what you say about having the ability to choose our family. These relationships in adoption do get completely confusing and I don't know how to sort them all out either. I do like the idea of saying "these people are family to us, they are our people" and casting a larger blanket of connectedness instead of trying to untangle and organize the strands that bring us together.

Erin O'

you said it, sad and hard to understand.

I bet if Sparkle asked R. if baby A. was his little sister, too, she'd say "sure."

Maybe you could have Sparkle dictate a letter to L., and save it for when you are able to make contact. He can write them as needed, for him, even if she's not able to read them yet.

Heidi - happy mom

It is all so complicated, Sam and Amanda have a baby A of their own coming soon.

I don't even know where to go with any of it. of course I want to be open, but I don't want to confuse and frustrate.

I am so sorry that you have not been able to make contact for Sparkle. good idea with the letters (from Erin) and keep them for later.

Good luck with all that.


Congratulations to all for baby A's birth! I know what you mean about how fun it is to buy pink baby gifts.

It is so hard to figure out how to go when our families are complicated. I think you are right in the way you are feeling it out.

I am more sure every day that even though it is confusing and frustrating, open and honest is so much better for all of us that secrets and denial. Sparkle will feel his pain. But he will find his way and he has your love to carry him.


Happy Birth Day Baby A!!! I think you're on the right path and that it'll come together. Heck, even if Baby A was living in your very home likely it'd take some time to figure it all out, you know? I mean, it was awhile before my nephew stopped asking when his little sister was going to go back to wherever she came from!

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