I expected I would be a lot like my mother when I "grew up." Isn't that what everyone says? That women sort of become their mothers as they get older?
There were always a few things about my mom that I wanted to avoid emulating, but for the most part I was relieved. It would be OK to be a lot like my mom.
So now I've been married for almost seven years, I have two kids, a job, a mortgage... and I think I'm about as "grown up" as I'm going to get.
(Not that I'm so mature and wise, just grown up.)
And I'm disappointed that I have not evolved into my mom. It seems a bit unfair.
Here's a list of qualities I missed out on by not becoming my mom:
1)She can decorate. Her taste isn't expensive, but her house is beautiful because she knows how to put things together so that they look great. I can't do that. Sometimes when she is at my house I feel self-conscious because I imagine that she is thinking about what she would change about my decorating.
2)She is patient. She spent a week with my boys and loved it! I get antsy and short-tempered by about 6 o'clock. (Ok, maybe 5 o'clock. Or 4 o'clock.)
3)She is craft-y. She can sew things, for example, like cute little overalls for the boys or even quilts. Once I made curtains (tab top panels) and one was 2" longer than the other.
4)She never seems to run out of energy. She has lots of projects going on at once, and seems to do them all well. I like to sit on the couch whenever I can.
5)She reads a lot. And she has something intelligent to say about everything she reads.
6) She and Dad have a great marriage, with a depth in their relationships that comes from having been together for over thirty years.
I think I have a chance of developing some of the traits I admire in my mom. Our lives are so different (she was a not-always-happy SAHM to four kids in a five year age span); I shouldn't be surprised that I'm not exactly like her. I'm glad she's my mom, and I'm glad the boys have her for a grandmother.
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