Mayhem and Magic

More Wedding Pictures, Because Oh My Gosh...

More are here.  That's Sparkle dancing with the bride if you scroll down a bit.  This was the second wedding dance the boys have been to, and let's just say they were TOTALLY at ease, and had a blast dancing their little hearts out.

"Touchdown for Tommy"

Here's the descriptor paragraph on the back of the book Sparkle brought home from school:

"Football isn't just Tommy's favorite sport, it's the key to a good home.  Recently orphaned Tommy is delighted to discover that his foster father, Mr. Powell, coaches Midget League football.  By playing well Tommy thinks he will make Mr. Powell want to adopt him, and then he will have a real family again.  This easy-to-read story of a boy's struggle for acceptance on and off the field is packed with enough warmth and sports action to appeal to all young readers."

Yeah, I don't think we're going to read this one to Sparkle.

I read it, though, just because...  Well, I don't know why, but I did.

Tommy isn't a very good sportsman, though he's good at football.  He's too rough with his tackles, sometimes on purpose, though the book doesn't connect this behavior to Tommy's loss.  He's just mean sometimes, and his coach has to teach him to control himself.

Here are the last few paragraphs of the book:

"Mr. Powell smiled and ruffled Tommy's hair.  He looked at Mrs. Powell, Mr. Powell, and then at Betty.  He was so choked he couldn't speak.

Everybody's face had the broadest, happiest smile Tommy had ever seen.  It was as if all the lights in the whole world were shining on their faces...

Tommy shook his head.  A proud grin spread across his face.

'It's sure nice to have a mom and dad again!' he said happily."

And...  curtain!

Now, this was published in the 60s and I get that it's full of old ideas about adoption.  But!  This was read aloud to some of the kids in Sparkle's class.  It's a "chapter book" and probably took them about five days or so to read at school.  And!  Is the school completely unable to afford any books more current than the 1960s for kindergartners?  For kids who are just learning to choose books for themselves?

I'm absolutely willing to cut this teacher a lot  of slack because Sparkle is doing awesome in her class, he loves school, his reading is improving daily, and I can tell that she really likes Sparkle.  If you know the teacher likes your kid and wants the best for him that goes a looong way, right? 

But still, I think we're going to have a gentle chat.  And we'll head over to the bookstore to find some better books to donate to the classroom.

Okay Then

1.  A short but carefully crafted message was sent to foster mom via facebook.  She friended me!  Hooray!  She sent a little note back saying that Sparkle is as cute as ever and she would send him an email later that day.  She didn't, but that's okay.  Well, obviously I'd love it if she did, but I'll take what I can get at this point.  She has not completely disappeared from the planet, so that's awesome!  It looks like she mostly plays facebook games with her account, not much personal information there.

2.  Yet another potluck lunch is happening at work next week.  Those who have not signed up got an email today.  Apparently I need to commit to a particular dish ahead of time, which...  argh!  Maybe I can just get some chicken from the deli across the street. 

What do you bring to potlucks?  This has to be a lunch entree or salad, and I have to be able to put it in the fridge at work in the morning.  Microwave is the only reheating option.  Actually a few people have brought things in crockpots in the past, so that might work. 

3.  Pumpkin has a new sister.  She's almost six months old now.  I meant to blog about it, because having siblings in another family is a big deal for adopted kids.  You might recall that the birth of Pumpkin's first sister threw me for a loop a few years ago.  This time...  much less loop. 

It still feels like a big deal though.  I'd like to talk about it more, but it seems a little overwhelming.  I want to be sensitive to privacy issues and adoption triad communication issues...  It's a big subject and I want to say what I'm thinking about it clearly.  But, dude, she's almost six months old.  I'm apparently not going to find the time to write anything that I have to think about too much.  It feels a little like I'm hiding something, though, if I don't talk about this part of open adoption.  So I'm just mention it here, all casually and in passing-- there, did you see it?  

Holy...

I found Sparkle's foster mom on Facebook... 

I want to email her right now but...  I know the adoption agency told us that South Africa does not allow contact between us and Sparkle's first mom until Sparkle is eighteen.  But I'm trying to remember if that applied to his foster family as well?

And I had mostly given up on finding anyone who knew Sparkle in South Africa.  Now that there's this bit of hope I'm scared I'll do something wrong and she'll disappear. 

Just today we talked to Pumpkin's first mom on the phone.  It's his sister's birthday and she had a Tinkerbell party.  While Pumpkin was talking to them I gave Sparkle a hug and kiss and said, "You know what I wish?  I wish we could call your brothers on their birthdays."  He just said, "Yeah..."  He was busy listening to what Pumpkin was saying to his sister.  (She turned two today, so it's not much of a conversation but they both enjoy it.)

I know it's hard for Sparkle not to know his first family, especially because Pumpkin does have that opportunity.  It would be so cool for him to have even the tiniest connection to someone who cared for him before we met him.

Oh God...  (Seriously, this is a "help me, help me, help me" prayer.)

Back-to-School Picnic

Another back-to-school picnic today, this time for Sparkle's class.  He's in kindergarten again this year, now in Apple Tree. 

So it was a back-to-school picnic where parents came at 11:30 and ate outside with the kids, supposedly to get to know other families with kids in Apple Tree.

There was one mom who brought, like, whole wheat pita bread with salmon, hummus, and organic greens for lunch.  I didn't even bother talking to her at all, obviously.

But I was pleasantly surprised to see how many parents showed up with a subway or deli bag.  One dad even brought McDonald's!  Ah, these are my kind of people!  (I brought bananas, juice boxes--100% juice of course, and baked chicken from the grocery store deli.  And don't think this wasn't carefully considered, because yes I am just that paranoid about other parent's judgment of my lunch choices!)

Sparkle and his class sang a few songs for the parents. (Parents who brought the big video camera: -3.  Parents who snapped a few pictures with the phone: +10.)  Sparkle's favorite, which he's been singing at home all week, is

"Water travels in a cycle, yes it does.

Water travels in a cycle, yes it does.

It goes up as evaporation, it forms clouds as condensation, it comes down as precipitation, yes it does!

Yee-haw!"

I don't think I knew about the water cycle until I was in third grade or so.  Sparkle's way ahead of me in so many ways!

I Love This

Would you like to know how I started my short-term stint into stay-home motherhood?  I sent my kids to school.

It's been lovely.

I took them to school the last two days because I had a lot to get done, lots of errands and appointments that I've been putting off thinking, "Well, I'll do that when I'm off work."  Turned out that there was enough to do that I didn't want to drag the boys around with me. 

And we're paying for school this week whether they go or not, so...  They went.

Oh yeah, that's me: Mother of the Year!

Let me tell you, this is quite a gig.  I would be a GREAT stay-home mom of kids who are in school!

I'm almost packed for our upcoming trip.  The laundry is ALL DONE.  My floors are mostly clean. (Well, they don't crunch when you walk on them, so that counts, right?)  I bathed the dog and clipped his nails.  I chatted with my sister and my mom.  I spent 45 minutes this morning at a coffee place sipping tea and reading a book!  All by myself!  My nails are freshly painted, my hair is newly cut, and my legs are shaved. 

I've accomplished a lot, but I haven't felt rushed or harried. 

I actually made scrambled eggs for the kids for breakfast and we sat at the table and ate and chatted before we left for school.  Not that scrambled eggs are difficult or anything, but on weekday mornings were are a strictly toast-or-cereal family. 

This evening I played checkers with Sparkle and read books with Pumpkin.  Again, it's not that those thing never happen anyway but I didn't feel like doing those things with the kids was keeping me from getting other stuff done.  Does that make sense?

Anyway, tomorrow is their last school day.  Ask me in a month or so how I feel about being a temporary stay-home mom, but for the last two days I've been loving it!!

(Here's Pumpkin playing with his special kitty, Tessie PomPom.)

(Oh, and I forgot to mention that I got the boys these Kamik shoes as their second pair of summer shoes.  I think they'll be an okay choice...  I like sandals rather than closed shoes for breath-ability, and a covered toe because it protects both the shoe and the kid from damage.  Flip-flops are not allowed at their school, not that it matters this summer.)

Then and Now: It's That Time Of Year Again

Beloved is doing a lot of lawn care again.  Sparkle is old enough that he really wants to help.  Beloved let him push the mower  with him, thinking that he'd lose interest pretty quickly but he stuck  with it until the mowing was all done.

Here's a post with them mowing two years ago.

And here's another, from three whole years ago!  (You really should click on this picture to see Beloved carrying both boys!)

Oh my, how my babies have grown!

Sparkle Goes To A Show

 

Sparkle and I went to a dog show recently.  These are a few pictures that Sparkle took himself. 

Sparkle basically had a good time, but he was more excited about the fact that we went through the drive through at McDonald's on our way home than anything else.  It's silly to take a child somewhere just because I want to go there.  Sparkle said he wanted to come, but I think it was more because he wanted to be the one to go with me than that he actually wanted to see anything at the show.  It's awesome that just the two of us got to do something together, but it wasn't really fair of me to take a six year old to something he wasn't very interested in, especially since I did want to watch some things.

When I was six I would have loved to do this, but guess what?  Kids have their own interests!  My job is to provide opportunities to try things, but just because I think it would be cool if he was interested in something doesn't mean he will be.  Bummer.

Sparkle really was a total sweetie...  He was very, very well behaved, especially for a slightly bored six year old boy in a place where he can't really run and yell.

I gave him the camera to try taking some pictures and then I went back to watching something else.  When I looked over at him he had pushed the wrong button on the camera and was then grabbing the camera by the lens.  I was slightly annoyed but not angry.  I had given him that camera because it's pretty inexpensive and durable and I didn't think he could damage it.  He was just trying to figure it out, no big deal.

That evening I downloaded the camera and saw that Sparkle had accidentally taken a few short videos as well as the pictures.  The last one was video of the grass/sky/grass/sky as he turned the camera around trying to figure out what he was doing.  And I heard myself in the background saying, "Sparkle!  Don't hold the camera like that!  If you can't handle it correctly then I'm going to put it away!"

Oh wow...

I couldn't believe how awful I sounded.  If one of the kids used that voice with me I would correct them and tell them to use a respectful tone.  For pete's sake, I gave the poor kid the camera with minimal instructions on how to use it.

I watched the video just after putting the boys to bed, and when I saw it I actually went to apologize to Sparkle.  He was already asleep.  And to be honest I forgot about it and never apologized.

It was pretty humbling and I'm trying to be more aware of my tone with the boys, making sure I speak to them with patience and gentleness.

Anyway...  we had some fun and some french fries, so it's all good.  I do wish I'd had another adult with me so we could chuckle at some of the Very Serious Dog People.

News of the Week

1. This was the first week in the CSA season.  We got a bunch of spinach, cilantro, leeks, green onions, asparagus, and dried chickpeas, split peas and barley.  I have no idea how to cook chickpeas. Beloved and I are determined not to waste anything we get through CSA for the summer.  Many new recipes will be tried, I'm sure.  Yesterday I made a vegan split pea and barley soup.  It was...  okay.  Took forever on the stove-- three hours!  Can you cook split peas in a crock pot?  Today we had huge spinach salads for lunch.  It really was good, much better spinach than I have evereaten before.  We've both noticed a, hmm... a changein our digestive systems just a wee bit today.  (Is that TMI?)  I am annoyed with my body.  What, like it's never seen veggies before?  Have I been eating so few vegetables that my colon feels it must protest this dramatic change?  Sheesh...

2. This morning I turned on Sesame Street for the boys.  I got much more done in that one hour than I usually would.  When it was over I was in the middle of putting away laundry, so I just started another one off the DVR.  Heck, it's Saturday...  When that was over Sparkle said, "Please, Mom, can we watch some more TV?"  I told him, "No way, buddy, that was two hours!  It's beautiful outside, time to get your shoes on and head out."  And he said, "But, Mom, me and my brother like to melt our brains!" 

He didn't protest too much about turning off the TV though.  Later he told me, "Next Wednesday when it's my share time at school I'm going tell my class that I got to watch TV all day!"  I really, really hope he doesn't.  I'm counting on him forgetting by then about his magical two hours straight of TV time. 

I wonder how this summer will go.  It's not hard to leave the TV off at home generally, but of course we're at work and school most of the days.  When the boys and I are home this summer it might be different.  I'm going to try to avoid TV if I can, but I'm also not going to feel too horribly guilty if they end up watching more than usual.

3. Our neighbor's dog was killed by coyotes last week!  They took the dog for a walk out on a hill not far from our house and let him off the leash.  The neighbor lady said two coyotes came out of nowhere and killed him in a few seconds!  Holy crap!  Thank goodness their kids were not with them.  The coyotes didn't carry the dog off or eat him.  Maybe they were scared off by having people nearby or maybe the dog had wandered too close to a den or something?  Regardless, I think we'll stay out of that area.  Hmm, I think I just figured out why no one around here has outdoor cats.

4. We've been going to our church for about nine months now.  This is a lovely stage in our church-relationship, I must say.  We've been there long enough that we know people fairly well, we're not totally "new people" any more, but we're still new enough that we haven't felt like we have to volunteer to staff the nursery or anything like that.  Enjoying feeling mostly a part of the group, but not having to work too hard at it... 

We are lazy church-going people, apparently.  In my head I absolutely know that we must contribute to the community in order to be part of it, that service to others is 100% critical for anyone who says they want to be like Jesus at all...  But, dang, that "community" part is so much work!  So time-consuming!  I know that even if it seems mostly like an obligation at first that we will be happy to get to know people better and develop real friendships (and that even if we don't at first, it's not optional) (and I'm not sure yet in what ways we'll end up serving), but to be honest we're realizing that we've enjoyed the easy-ness of being on the fringe of involvement. 

The Boys Playing "Football Guys"

These "guys" are a big hit with the boys.  Gee, the playroom looks pretty well picked up here.  I'll have to see if I have any pictures from later in the day.  I bet it didn't last long.

(Here are a few more pictures of the playroom when it was all picked up!)

(And here's a link to the company that makes the football guys, in case you're interested.)