Here's a happy picture! Beloved finished building the jungle gym. The boys have been swinging and sliding and climbing... It's great! It took about two minutes before they tried putting other random items down the slide besides their own little bottoms. (Actual items down the slide: a truck, a trike, many balls, grass, rocks, drinking glasses, and a banana.) They've also gone down the slide headfirst, upside down and standing up ("surfing"-- how do they know what surfing looks like?). No major injuries so far, thank goodness.
I have not called R yet. I didn't want to call while I was anxious or upset. And I do feel... somewhat less anxious and upset. Still confused.
The ups and downs of an open adoption relationship are difficult to blog about, by the way. There are privacy issues for sure, for R and Pumpkin in particular, and our whole family in general. Would I tell you if for some reason (please, no) Baby A had been removed from R's care? I'm not sure. Would I tell you if R just... I don't know... decided that Baby A was a lot of work and maybe it would be easier to leave her with someone else? Again, not sure.
Now, if her daycare fell through and she was left without any acceptable options? That I would probably share, because then it's not just about our families, but also political and moral issues of justice, wealth, and race. Those things, I think, need to be exposed and discussed without judgement or shame.
Have I already stepped over a privacy line that should not be crossed? If I never again blog about where Baby A is, you might assume the worst of R.
It's easier to talk about the things that are unreservedly positive. Phone calls and letters and birthday cards from first family... all good things. Questioning the care and/or safety of a sibling? Potentially not good, and much much harder to talk about in a postive way that does not contribute to negative stereotypes about open adoption or first families.
Back to the happy!
Yesterday I was blow drying my hair. Both the boys like to watch this, and they love when I unexpectedly turn the blow dryer on their feet! They just giggle and giggle and shriek about it. Anyway, Pumpkin was watching admiringly, and when I turned off the hair dryer he told me,
"Momma, you look just like Ariel."
High, high praise indeed!
