Last week Sparkle helped Grandma (Beloved's mom) make dough for her famous caramel rolls. Yum!
Beloved is home now, but things are still quite busy. We have not gotten back to our normal routine (and my normal blog reading and posting) quite yet.
You know, it was nice to have someone here who does fancy stuff like making caramel rolls.
(She's such a show off.)
(Totally kidding!)
Oh. Well. That's just great. (Have fun kids!)
Beloved is out of town this week. My mother-in-law is here watching the kids (all day every day for four days!) while I'm at work. The boys are having a blast. My mother-in-law appears to be hanging in there with two days down and two to go. She raised three crazy boys, so she's prepared.
They were going to head over to the park this morning, but NOT the one by the river.
The painters are coming today. The timing is a bit unexpected. We thought it would be a few weeks from now, but they're available starting today, and so... Today it is.
The in-charge painter guy came by last night after I finally got home from work and said he could start today. Could I please have everything off the walls and everything in the middle of the rooms?
Um, sure. By then it was 6 PM and my children had not yet eaten dinner and Beloved is gone and I was at work all day and have to get up early to get us all to work and school on time... But, sure, I can have everything off the walls.
And I did.
The curtains are all down and piled in the laundry room. The walls are bare. Everything is piled up in the middle of the rooms.
The boys were so good. I only had to yell at them once! ("Play nicely with each other or you'll be separated in your own rooms!" The horror! That got their attention, let me tell you.)
I'm glad the painting is getting done, but I am already dreading putting everything back together.
That paint better be gorgeous.
Sparkle got a Light Bright for his birthday, and I'm surprised by how much he likes it. The car was the very first picture he finished, and he was very proud. He's not usually so into following instructions! But he put every darn little peg through that pattern, determined to finish the whole "work"!
Here's a happy picture! Beloved finished building the jungle gym. The boys have been swinging and sliding and climbing... It's great! It took about two minutes before they tried putting other random items down the slide besides their own little bottoms. (Actual items down the slide: a truck, a trike, many balls, grass, rocks, drinking glasses, and a banana.) They've also gone down the slide headfirst, upside down and standing up ("surfing"-- how do they know what surfing looks like?). No major injuries so far, thank goodness.
I have not called R yet. I didn't want to call while I was anxious or upset. And I do feel... somewhat less anxious and upset. Still confused.
The ups and downs of an open adoption relationship are difficult to blog about, by the way. There are privacy issues for sure, for R and Pumpkin in particular, and our whole family in general. Would I tell you if for some reason (please, no) Baby A had been removed from R's care? I'm not sure. Would I tell you if R just... I don't know... decided that Baby A was a lot of work and maybe it would be easier to leave her with someone else? Again, not sure.
Now, if her daycare fell through and she was left without any acceptable options? That I would probably share, because then it's not just about our families, but also political and moral issues of justice, wealth, and race. Those things, I think, need to be exposed and discussed without judgement or shame.
Have I already stepped over a privacy line that should not be crossed? If I never again blog about where Baby A is, you might assume the worst of R.
It's easier to talk about the things that are unreservedly positive. Phone calls and letters and birthday cards from first family... all good things. Questioning the care and/or safety of a sibling? Potentially not good, and much much harder to talk about in a postive way that does not contribute to negative stereotypes about open adoption or first families.
Back to the happy!
Yesterday I was blow drying my hair. Both the boys like to watch this, and they love when I unexpectedly turn the blow dryer on their feet! They just giggle and giggle and shriek about it. Anyway, Pumpkin was watching admiringly, and when I turned off the hair dryer he told me,
"Momma, you look just like Ariel."
High, high praise indeed!
Pumpkin has had a bit of a cold lately. Here he is at the breakfast table one morning, after his nose had been running without tissue intervention all night long. Yep, that is dried snot smeared over his face and his arm. Ewww...
The cold hasn't seemed to bother him at all, in spite of the nasty nose and the cough. Happily, he is recovering just fine.
You are all pretty smart and creative folks, right? Could you help me out with a baby shower I'm planning?
The sweet mama is expecting twin girls!
I want the shower to be a little bit "fancy" and girl-y and very pretty, but not expensive. There will probably be about 20 guests. They will all be women, and most of them know each other at least a little. It will be held at my house on a Saturday from 1 to 3 PM.
I also hosted the baby shower for the same friend's first pregnancy (one little girl) three years ago, and the theme was centered around a "sweet pea" invitation, with green and purple colors. The "two peas in a pod" theme would have been good for twins, but darn it, I used that already!
I decided to decorate mostly with pink and green, and try to bring in the twin thing in other ways. I figured pink and green decorations should be easy to find, since it's spring. Turned out to be a little trickier than I expected. Most things I've seen so far have been very pastel, and I was hoping for the colors to be a bit brighter. But that's okay.
So these are the invitations: http://www.tinyprints.com/products/ProductView_2793.htm
Aren't they pretty?
We're going to do two Games:
-- sock matching game (The team of 2-3 people who can match about 30 pairs of mixed-up baby socks the fastest wins.)
-- "famous pairs" memory game (I have a list of about 100 pairs of things, like "peaches and cream," etc, and the list will be printed out, with either the first or second part missing. Those who can complete the most pairs within 2 minutes win.)
Is that enough for games? Can you think of any other "twin-ish" baby shower games that would be better?
Prizes, by the way, will be packages of Double Stuffed Oreos, Double Mint Gum, or Twix candy bars. (Any other good ideas for prizes?)
Decorations will be pink and green tableclothes (one a vintage floral, the other just solid colored), pink and green paper plates and napkins, pink tulips in crystal vases, and some pink and white hyacinth flowers that are growing in my kitchen and will hopefully be blooming at the right time.
And Food...
There will be two small cakes, both white with some pink and green floral-type decoration, but one a little more pink and the other a little more green. They will be different flavors/colors inside, I think lemon with strawberry filling and the other white with raspberry filling? These are being made by a professional baker/cake decorator whom I've used before and I know they will be lovely and delicious.
I'd like to have food pairings that are pink/green and a little matchy but different (like twins, you know!), but I'm not sure what else to do for food. Maybe a fruit platter with kiwi and strawberry slices? Pink lemonade and lemon water? What else? I'm very stumped on the food.
My friend is looking forward to this shower, and I really want it to be nice for her. Have you been to any baby showers for twins that were pretty and twin-y and fun? Do you have any ideas?
Blogging feels difficult lately. How many times can a blogger write, "We're really busy. Things are fine and the kids are great, but I don't have the time or energy to write about anything, even when things are fabulous." Hmmm, not that exciting to read, eh?
Pumpkin is driving me crazy. He'll be dry all day at school, then come home and wet his pants. Or (even worse) poop in his pants. I hate it! It's really hard for me to not let my frustration show. Actually, I'm quite sure Pumpkin can see my frustration. What I'm hoping for is that he doesn't sense anger from me. Though I have felt anger about it at times. I've contemplated at what age a child might need some sort of negative consequence for refusing to use the toilet, rather than the promise of rewards for appropriate behavior.
(Don't worry, there have been no negative consequences. Yet... Other than having his poopy Lightning McQueen underwear thrown away, which I think is pretty much just a logical consequence, not punishment. I cannot wash truly poopy underwear. The thought of handling it or putting it in my wash machine grosses me out. It gets thrown away.)
Usually rewards and positive reinforcement work well for Pumpkin. He's a bit upset about time outs, but he's stubborn enough that they don't bother him much. In fact, I think most of our discipline issues with Pumpkin (though, honestly, he's mostly an "easy" kid to parent, so there aren't many issues), come from his stubbornness.
Sparkle is heartbroken when we're upset with him, and his apologies are so genuine. We can just feel and see how hard Sparkle works to make good decisions and control himself. It's harder for him, so sometimes it seems "harder" to parent him, but his heart is so soft!
Pumpkin, on the other hand, is easy-going. He has a long attention span, he catches on to things easily, and he just naturally follows the lead of teachers and parents fairly easily. He seems "easier" to parent most of the time. But... He'll act upset about being sent to time-out, but his tears are mostly for show. He can dry his tears in a second. When time-out is over and a parent comes to have the brief talk with him that happens after every time-out, he's already looking over our shoulders, anxious to get back to playing. His apologies are very, "I'msorry.Willyouforgiveme?CanIgoplaynow?" and his post-time-out reconciliation hug is brief.
So, in some important ways, he's "harder" to parent. I very much want him to develop a true desire to be in agreement with us as his parents. I want to see real repentance, rather than going through the motions of asking for forgiveness.
How did all of this come out of my frustration with toilet training?!
I understand that he wants to be in control of this, and he'll do it when he's ready, on his terms, the stubborn little booger. How can I convince him that he's READY, it's TIME ALREADY!?
He's not sick or constipated. He's not afraid of the toilet. He is physically mature enough. He is aware of his body and I believe he knows when he needs to go. He resists reminders and really resists when we actually bring him to bathroom when we can see that he needs to go. We've tried setting a timer and taking him every 30 minutes, regardless. We've offered the egg reward every time he goes, and a bigger reward (a new Lightning McQueen figure!) for a full day clean and dry. Ugh. Grandma!! Come back! We need you!!
Clipboard as guitar, 
Pumpkin rocks out. The stereo was on, but I don't remember what was playing. Something inspiring, obviously.
Updates:
- We're all home, and this is good.
- Work has been kicking my butt this week, and I'm worn out.
- Beloved has been busy too. When we're tired, we both tend to want to be alone. When we come home, we devote our attention to the boys--rough housing, reading, playing football or Cars, eating and talking with them. Once they go to bed at 8:15 or so, we both just split! It's kind of funny this week, actually. We say goodnight to the boys, and we each grab a book, a remote, or a computer and find a corner of our own to huddle in, practically in the fetal position, just wanting to shut out everything else for a little while. Beloved called our babysitter, and she's coming on Saturday evening. We're planning to actually converse with one another! Perhaps over a nice dinner! I have a list of topics we need to cover. (Seriously.)
- I got nothin' else.
Mmmm... Cookies...
Me like Cookie...
Ahhh!!!Mmmm,numnumnum...
