Happy Thoughts!

Here's a happy picture!  Beloved finished building the jungle gym.  The boys have been swinging and sliding and climbing...  It's great!  It took about two minutes before they tried putting other random items down the slide besides their own little bottoms.  (Actual items down the slide:  a truck, a trike, many balls, grass, rocks, drinking glasses, and a banana.)  They've also gone down the slide headfirst, upside down and standing up ("surfing"-- how do they know what surfing looks like?).  No major injuries so far, thank goodness.

I have not called R yet.  I didn't want to call while I was anxious or upset.  And I do feel...  somewhat less anxious and upset.  Still confused. 

The ups and downs of an open adoption relationship are difficult to blog about, by the way.  There are privacy issues for sure, for R and Pumpkin in particular, and our whole family in general.  Would I tell you if for some reason (please, no) Baby A had been removed from R's care?  I'm not sure.  Would I tell you if R just...  I don't know... decided that Baby A was a lot of work and maybe it would be easier to leave her with someone else?  Again, not sure. 

Now, if her daycare fell through and she was left without any acceptable options?  That I would probably share, because then it's not just about our families, but also political and moral issues of justice, wealth, and race.  Those things, I think, need to be exposed and discussed without judgement or shame. 

Have I already stepped over a privacy line that should not be crossed?  If I never again blog about where Baby A is, you might assume the worst of R.

It's easier to talk about the things that are unreservedly positive.  Phone calls and letters and birthday cards from first family...  all good things.  Questioning the care and/or safety of a sibling?  Potentially not good, and much much harder to talk about in a postive way that does not contribute to negative stereotypes about open adoption or first families.

Back to the happy!

Yesterday I was blow drying my hair.  Both the boys like to watch this, and they love when I unexpectedly turn the blow dryer on their feet!  They just giggle and giggle and shriek about it.  Anyway, Pumpkin was watching admiringly, and when I turned off the hair dryer he told me,

"Momma, you look just like Ariel."

High, high praise indeed!

Comments

[Leah]

That is a very, very cool playground you have. When can Noah and I come for a playdate ;). If only we lived closer...

I am glad that you share things about R. It helps me see what it would/will be like in a more open relationship. I think hard but good so far from your wonderful example.

[Angela]

"The ups and downs of an open adoption relationship are difficult to blog about, by the way"

I understand. We have a very smooth relationship with K's birthdad but not w/ birthmom...much more tug and pull and redfining of boundaries and such...just harder. Wishing you the best..I know it's hard.

I love that jungle gym!

[beagle]

VERY cool!

[wendy]

How fun! And what a huge, lovely back yard you have!

[louise]

I love the jungle gym!

I agree it is very hard to blog about some parts of open adoption. Which is part of the reason i went password-protected...I figure my five whole readers are pretty discreet :-)

Prayers for R and her little one, that everything is OK.

[Leigh]

Very high compliment! I believe Ariel was a princess.

I understand the privacy issues - I certainly would understand if you decide not to discuss it. Once it's on the Internet, it's open to the world to see.

Okay, I've got to comment on the yard. I can imagine kids running and playing and having an absolute ball in the huge yard of your's. Nice jungle gym too!