Anti-Racist Parent Meme (Part 2 of 2)

(See here for Part 1.)

5. The family tradition I most want to pass on is: You mean, besides our basic values and our faith tradition?  Does the importance of education count as a tradition? 

My mom did a great job of making little things into something special, and I'd like to pass on some of those traditions.  There are lots of them.  For example, getting to chew gum when we turned three was a big deal.  So on Pumpkin's upcoming third birthday, our family will gather around his bed on his birthday morning to wake him up by singing, "Happy Birthday."  And at the end of the bed will be a gift, and it will be gum!  He knows he can have gum when he's three, so it will be really exciting!  Partly we do this for safety (no hard candy or gum until three years of age), but also because it's fun to make a milestone of it.

6. The family tradition I least want to pass on is:  I think my family of origin (immediate and extended families) are too quick to blow off more subtle racism.  This has gotten better, but maybe sometimes we're too conflict-avoidant, so it's more comfortable for us to ignore it.  When my boys tell me that they sense racism or they interpret racist attitudes as the source of tension or a comment or whatever...  I will believe them. 

7. My child's first word in English was:  This is really sad, but I'm not sure.  Other than Mama and Dada?  I think Sparkle maybe said, "Ball" (or maybe "Bawh") first.  One of Pumpkin's earliest words was "Baaaaah!", as in the sound a sheep makes.  He was very excited about it, and it was so funny.

8. My child's first non-English word was: Sparkle's was "more" in ASL.  He did lots of signing, which he still remembers, but Pumpkin was never interested.  Pumpkin's first non-English word was "boca" because we'd say "Abra la boca!" to him a lot when we fed him.

9. The non-English word or phrase most used in my home is: probably "Kgothatso."  This is Sparkle's name from his first mom.  It's a Tswana name.  We often call both boys by the names their first moms gave them, but for some reason we use Sparkle's more than Pumpkin's.  (Here is a link to more background on Sparkle's name and Pumpkin's name.)

10. One thing I love about being a parent is:  the sweet and funny things my kids say every single day.  Tonight Pumpkin took my face in his little hands at bedtime, pulled my face close, looked into my eyes and said very seriously, "Mama, I lud'jew all da times.  All da times, I lud'jew."  And last week, when I was blustering around trying to quickly deal with a small toilet training crisis (will it never end?), Sparkle stood in the bathroom door and told me, "I love you, Mama, even when we have a poop problem!"  (I think he was copying our pattern of telling him we love him even when we're upset or when he's upset about something.  You know, like, "Sparkle, we always love you, even when you're feeling cranky!")

11. One thing I hate about being a parent is: how bottomless their need for our time and attention is.  I wish we had the energy to be at our 100% best and most engaged with them all the time, but we don't.

12. To me being an anti-racist parent means: I like what Heather said about teaching our kids that it's the world that is crazy; they are not crazy.  It also means searching myself for wrong attitudes toward other people and choosing to change them.

I'd like to tag Blaine, Christine, Krissy, and Leigh!   

Comments

[Krissy Poopyhands]

I DONE BEEN TAGGED!

Will complete some time today.

xoxoxo

KP

[Leigh]

Alrighty, I'm working on Part 1. Interesting reading this is.

[Katie]

HA!

I *love* the "poop problem" remark!