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I'm new to your blog, but I am absolutely, positively, 100% glad to have "found" you.

My husband and I are in the midst of adoption and, despite having no children in our home yet, we're already having to work with so many misconceptions from friends and family about "older child" adoption.

Not just the bad, but also the good..

I am so relieved to find you - writing honestly and as openly as you can. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you!


I guess it really shows that the only people who really "get it" are those who have lived it.

I'm glad you have that supportive community and I hope to build one for myself (in real life) as well, as I venture further into this adoption adventure.

Great post!


Fantastic post. You're so right. It's such a relief when people get it.


Great post Amanda, as usual, I can totally relate to what you're saying.

I don't discuss these issues either for the same reasons. Cody often worries too about what time I'm coming to pick him up. And he wants to know the exact time.

Nohe 5

I am totally jealous. This was a fantastic post. I wish there were a group like that in our area.

Brian (dad to 3)

I am such an advocate of local adoption groups. There is something about being able to talk to people that you just can't get from reading people's stories on the internet. And I'm assuming that it's going to help the kids as they get older as well.
Here's our S. CA group for Ethiopian adopters if anyone is in the area:


Amanda, I love -- love love love -- this post. This is my favorite of your posts yet! I'm going to link to it on our blog today. I've been thinking lately that I should start an adoption group (or at least just invite a bunch of people over) and actually just these past few days began compiling a little "guest list" in my desk notebook. But I was starting to feel that weird feeling (like, 'oh, I don't need an 'adoption' group -- we're not THAT special -- we don't NEED that, etc.) Then I read your post today and it made me realize that yes, we do need that -- and yes, it is o.k. to acknowledge that need. There is something different. Thank you for this post today!
~~ Heather



I love this post and I love the words that you always find that convey EXACTLY what I wish that I had said.

It is almost like you don't have to try as hard w/ other adoptive mammas b/c they aren't going to jump to a conclusion.... it is like getting a tiny bit of a break....

I also think that it will be good for my kids in the long run to have other friends that are "like" them. We can have all the black friends we want, but they still have white parents. It is nice for our kids to have a neutral place to belong as well... where all the families are simliar enough, no one needs to give an explination. KWIM?


I found myself jealous of the group as well. I have been unsuccessful in finding an active group for families who have adopted in my area. The one group we did find was small and I felt like we monopolized everything -- plus the waiting families were waiting so long -- it got depressing and I started to feel guilty. If anyone has any contacts for groups in Seattle, I'd love to hear about them.


You are so right! It is an amazing blessing to be at one of those dinners. I need another one soon! I have been feeling lonely for that kind of fellowship lately. There is nothing like it.


And I meant to say I feel the same way about sharing what is going on with my boys. I often feel like going back and deleting my blog posts because I don't want people thinking bad things about me and my boys. But then why do I blog? Because I need to write it down and share it...


I am behind on blog reading again, but am so glad Brian included a link to our So Cal group. We actually have a potluck tomorrow. Our kids love to play with all the other kids (black, white, asian, etc.), and we enjoy the conversation with other adoptive parents. There are many differences among the families, but we are all kindred spirits on certain issues. I think it really comes down to most adoptive parents being better educated than the average bio parent. Just my observation.

Caroline Rundby

I love what you have written! Our son from South africa shows the same thing and we have to be very close to him so he doesn´t feels so scared.

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