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Thank you. I find this very encouraging. I often am overwhelmed by all that can go wrong and all I may do wrong as well. I almost can't think of anything harder than this parenting... I rely on God and put my boys in God's hands. It helps to read your words.

Erin O'

Thanks for writing what's been on my mind a lot of late. And thanks for referencing Shannon/Peter's Cross Station -- so many wise women out there!



very well said...
and yes, to your other post, pumpkin is adorable!!!!!!!!!


Yes, yes, very well said indeed. I remember when I first read your blog there was a post about race. I kept coming back to it because I wanted to comment. I remembering thinking that you really "got it" and were really aware of race issues and privilege and adoption. I still think that, and I suspect your boys will do just fine.

I feel like raising a strong black man is truly an awesome responsibility. They will have to rise above the ingrained stereotypes that our society has had for many ears.

I remember watching a documentary once by a biracial man raised by a white family. He said he loved his family but there were situations where he just didn't feel like he belonged. The parents adopted at a time when there was no thought of including other people of color in his life. And now, since I've written a little book, I'll stop.


You have hit the nail on the head again. Thanks for sharing your experiences wrestling with the tough issues. Perhaps your words will influence your readers to have a bit of a racial awakening. Keep it coming.


My hat is off to you for having boys, especially. As much as I worry about race in nat's life, I think with boys, I'd worry about their very physical safety. it seems that our culture is literally out to exterminate Black men. If our next child is a boy, I guess that will be one more learning curve (and leap of faith!).

Thanks for an excellent post (and the reference).

Pastormac's Ann

Thanks for this post. I worry about these issues.


I've been lurking and wanted to delurk for a moment to tell you how inspirational I find your parenting and your blog. I tend to overthink things and worry about whether I will be able to raise a black child well and I'm grateful that you share your experiences.


HI there,
Thanks for posting this. I've been posting the same question on a few blogs. i hope people don't think I'm attacking them for their decisions on adopting black children. I think its great. My concern is that when white people adopt them,raise them in a place in the middle of nowhere and expect them to put up cultural diversity. Now not all my friends are black,but a lot are POC's ( people of color)Why? b/c I feel more comfortable around them. I can be my black self without having to explain myself. Now my husband is a very light skinned Puerto Rican,but his brother is darker and was followed around stores to make sure he wasn't steeling so while they would follow them,my lighter skinned husband would nick things. They worked the system,b/c at a very young age,they understood racism.

When my husband would go look for apartments,we would have him go alone,b/c we found that if I went,they wouldn't rent.

Its hard to raise a black child if you're black! Black children need more rules to keep them safe. They need extra care and they need to be armed with the knowledge that life is not going to operate under the umbrella of white privilege for them.

Now my mom was white,but since she grew up with many blacks,(like soul sistahs) she told me the deal early,b/c she wanted me to be prepared by all that she witnessed with her friends.

My friend always tells her son to get a receipt when he leaves a store for example. We teach our sons esp their civil rights b/c they will be getting pulled over.

My son ( adopted) doesn't look black or white,but maybe Greek( olive tint)

I asked my husband today if he felt he could raise a black son and he said yes,b/c he grew up around blacks,has blacks in his family and understands how to operate within the system.

I think if you keep it real,things will work out and there will never be a question. Love your kids! Blessings~


I was looking for evidence of the incompetence of white people raising black children. I came across your blog. I always worry that whites will not understand the importance of seeing images that reflect their black child. Whites are notorious for pretending racism is not an issue. I also worry about whites and black haircare and skin care. You mentioned important issues in your blog and seemed pretty well-versed in elements of black culture. (and yes, there is such a thing as black culture)One of the key issues you mentioned is obtaining black friends or friends from other ethnic groups. I still think whites should not raise black children, but if they are raised by "blue-eyed devils", you would be at the top of my list because you have done your homework.

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